There's That 4-Letter Word, Again

Recently, reading over some of my older articles I was surprised to notice how often the word "that" appeared in my writing. Just as some people tack "you know" onto almost everything they say, my writing seemed to be lavishly sprinkled with "that’s.”

This may seem a bit trivial, but, since I first noticed my problem, I have become paranoid on the subject. I find myself religiously re-reading every sentence to make sure there are none of those unnecessary little four-letter words. I lie awake for hours each night trying to think of a better word to use in a given instance. Still, I catch the dreaded "T" word creeping into each new story I write.

Last Thursday, noticing more "thats" than usual pouring out of my word processor, I decided to boot up a few of my stories and articles and see if I really had a serious problem, or whether I was just making Mt. Everest out of a bump in the road.

As do most word processors, mine has a "find" feature. All I had to do was boot up each story, ask the program to find all the "thats" and count them as they appeared on the screen. The results were not encouraging.

In "Have Fun Raising Funds,” 6 pages and 1200 words long, “that” appeared 16 times. In, "The Very Special Friend,” with 1000 words and 5 pages, I saw it 13 times, and in "Victims,” with only 400 words and a little over 2 pages, 9 times. The dissertation you are now reading contains 10 references, including the title, but, excluding the examples at the end, almost all are used to illustrate the point of my article.

Altogether, I checked 19 stories and articles.
Now, if you average these appearances, it doesn't look quite so bad. Only one every 60 to 80 or 100 words sports a “that.” (Who, but a Champion Procrastinator, would take the time to divide all those numbers? Didn't I tell you I wasn't kidding?)

However, frequency was not what really bothered me. It was the realization that, (did you notice how I sneaked the word in there?).... in most cases the sentence worked just as well, or even better, without the pesky little word. It said exactly the same thing with or without the “that.”

To illustrate, I have taken some excerpts from one of my many, many, never quite finished, works in progress, to show you what I mean. Some of the "thats" can be eliminated; others need to be replaced with a better word. See if you don't agree.

EXCERPTS FROM, LONELY AUTUMN

In February, her Grandmother Carlson had suffered a severe stroke, and Lindsey had taken over many of her mother's household duties so (that) Mrs. McLeod could spend time at the hospital with Grandmother.

Just three weeks ago, Ryan Scott, Lindsey's very special friend, had broken off their relationship, saying (that) they were both getting too serious and needed to see other people for a while. (That) might have been what Ryan needed, but it had never once crossed Lindsey's mind as something she needed.

So, Ryan, who had been her comfort through all the bad things (that) had happened this year, was gone, leaving an aching void in her life (that) she had desperately tried to fill by throwing herself into her job at Data Research Associates.

From the very first day, Lindsey had loved her job. She had been assigned, primarily, to medical research projects and although she had only been given routine chores to do, she felt (that) she was at least helping in the battle against illnesses like her grandmother had suffered.

But today the final blow had come. Dr. Stark, her supervisor had told her (that) because of drastic budget cuts, her job was being eliminated for the remainder of the calendar year.
With all her heart, she wanted Ryan. She needed him. She wanted him to hold her as she poured out her frustration over all the problems (that) had been coming her way.
But Ryan had made it clear (that) he wasn't interested in holding her hand, or her, for (that) matter, ever again.

Deep down, Lindsey knew (that) her mother’s advice, as well as (that) of her brother could be applied in her situation, and (that) her only hope right now was to accept one or the other of them and go on. But a stubborn rebellion was spreading through her.

Out of the thirteen uses of the word, “that,” in the example above, nine can be deleted without changing the meaning or flow of the story at all. Two others could be replaced with better words, and two should probably remain. Quite a difference, don’t you think?

Take a look at some of your own writing. Do certain words pop up more often than they should? If so, do a little analysis of your own, and see if you don’t end up with a tighter, more saleable piece when you are done.

If you decide that your articles could use a bit of editing and tightening up here and there, here are a couple of really good books you might want to check out.